Healing

So I have an amazing person in my life now, who is helping things heal...crazy!! He is so great I've know him since i was 6 years old so I guess he's not new but he's back, it's been so long since, I had someone around who remembers the old me (before my losses), he's also helping me with the kids to be a better mom.
Not that I'm a bad mom, just sometimes the sorrow takes away any joy I get out of holidays, I have learned that it's O.K. to enjoy the day, and still love and miss the babies! I know I should have got this sooner but amid all the crap I was going through, with other parts of my life I some how forgot....so, while I'm still really mad, (been mad for about a year now) I am finding joy in small ways. I am so grateful for my earth Angels, I'm not sure I would have the strength to go on in this life without them and Lucien is the very best rainbow I could have gotten, he brings joy to everyone, mostly me, all the time he is for sure a special spirit, and I know he was sent to help me heal.......

I really hope the "mad" goes away soon it's so exhausting! and I have found myself getting bitter, I'm sure that in time I can get through it, all*sigh*